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Children are protective of their parents, no matter their — or your — age.They tend to think no one is good enough for mom or dad, no one's motives are pure, and every new person you bring around is either a gold digger, a spendthrift or someone who will tear you away.Some fathers feel unsure about how to spend blocks of time with their children without a woman present; some mothers are anxious to quickly introduce a “better role model” to their children and have the family that wasn’t possible with the children’s father.Neither situation serves the child’s need for time to adjust to family changes.It’s hard to definitively say why this is, but the general belief is that mom is often considered the primary caretaker and is thus expected to maintain the status quo.Socializing with your kids included is a good way to approach the social scene.

Their fantasies of reconciliation will be damaged, and the loss of your attention can reawaken fears of abandonment.But it can be a good idea to conduct a new relationship in a way that will encounter the least amount of resistance. (And if you've met someone already, talk first in generalities about dating before talking about your new guy or gal.) Convey your feelings of being lonely, wanting affection and missing having a partner. When you're starting to date, mention to your kids that you might make mistakes.You could even hint that in the absence of companionship, you might have to lean a lot more heavily on them — and you don't want to do that. You could gently remind them that they made quite a few along the way too — and that there is a skill to dating that you have to re-learn. When things start getting serious, introduce your boyfriend or girlfriend to your family in small doses and with no big fanfare.The discipline remains in the hands of the biological parents only.Working out these questions with your new girlfriend deepens your relationship and sidesteps problems before they even begin.




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(Lawful to you in marriage) are chaste women from the believers and chaste women from those who were given the Scripture (Jews and Christians) before your time, when you have given their due mahr (bridal money given by the husband to the wife at the time of marriage), desiring chastity (i.e., taking them in legal wedlock), not committing illegal sexual intercourse, nor taking them as girlfriends.


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